BOOK REVIEW: Ougat: From a Hoe Into a Housewife and Then Some by Shana Fire

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Pages: 223

Genre: Memoir

"The pain of not being able to admit who I am damaged me deeply, especially because I didn't even admit it to myself until, as a young adult, I had veered so far from my true self that I had become unrecognisable, embarrassingly stuck in the persona of a slut for men."

If you've been following me for a while, you'll know I never read non-fiction & have never shown much interest in it. However, a few months ago while scrolling through social media, a book titled Ougat immediately caught my attention, mostly due to the Capetonian meaning of the word. I went on to read the blurb & knew this was something I (& everyone else) needed to read.(gifted: @jonathanballpublishers)

"Observing from my low angle, I was aware that men and boys were exempt from common decency - and that even though 'boys will be boys' and women were nurturers, matured faster and were fixers, men were destined to rule."

This memoir is so well & authentically written - I loved reading a book written in Cape Town tongue - at times it felt more like I was listening to a close friend open up to me about her story, than reading a memoir written by an author I have never met. I have shamefully not read a lot of SA books & it was so refreshing reading a book based in Cape Town & recognising names of places & suburbs where I've actually been before.

"Life is truly just a cycle of reaching a comfortable place then falling all the way down to the bottom again."

This memoir covers some really heavy subjects such as the emotional, mental, physical & sexual abuse Shana went through from a young age, as well as the lasting effects it can have on one's mental health & future relationships. Shana opens up about her life experience as a Coloured female with blunt & raw details & she does not sugar coat anything. She also highlights the differences in the way boys & girls are sometimes raised from a young age & how this affects everything, including relationships, later in life.

"The thing about being with an abusive man is that the abuse is almost a fuel for you to leave. I would dare say that constant abuse is the best. A woman who is abused every single day, non-stop, is more likely to decide to run and never look back. It is those moments of calm, of bliss, that are the deadliest. Those deceitful moments are sirens, luring you into the loving, strong arms that caress you so well, so specifically - until the grip tightens, slowly."

There were times where Shana's sarcasm & wit had me giggling to myself at 1:30am, just to turn the page to have my heart broken or to feel shocked to my core for the things she has had to live through. And she did. Bravely. And I am so proud of her for that. I truly have so much respect for her for making it through everything and also for writing this memoir for herself, for women in similar situations, for Coloured women & for all women.

"Coloured laaities were moered (at least, those of us from respectable homes). We would be so desensitised to violence that we would all share the stories of how our parents hit us and laugh at whoever's story was the most erg. Besides, we saw people die in the roads we lived in more often than we should have."

Thank you Shana. Not only for being brave enough to share your story & speaking up for yourself, but also for speaking & standing up for SO many others, who are not yet brave enough to do so. I wish you nothing but happiness & healing in your future, you truly deserve nothing less.

Highly recommend!